snowdin | two years of love, two years of LOVE

[It's adorable.]

[It's adorable, how someone so jaded can pretend that he's still, at his heart, so very naive. Like he didn't watch them desecrate the Underground in some form or another. Or should he not be thinking of that as "them" either?]

Letting go is never hard for me.

[Don't you remember, Asriel?]

[That power you fought so hard to keep for yourself...]

[It's still theirs.]

[How would you like it if someone else tried bringing it all back to zero?]

[That's... a kind of strange response. He'd sort of expected them to comfort him some more, honestly.

But maybe they're being modest. Or maybe... they're carrying guilt, too? He isn't the only one who knows how it feels to wield the power to reset the timeline. He isn't the only one who just had to see what would happen if you tried... maybe not solving problems so perfectly.

But that's okay! This time, he can comfort them! More than just the "you're going to do a good job" offered awkwardly as he prepared to depart. They understand each other, after all. They both know what it's like to live something no one else has.]

I'm not so sure about that. Your "determination"... the power that I couldn't defeat. That was all because you refused to let go, right? Because you wanted a happy ending. Because you love your friends.

If you were interested in letting go, Frisk... I think you would have let me win. All I wanted was to reset everything, after all. Fighting me would just mean dragging out the reset that would've happened anyway, if that was what you wanted.

[Really, he's not worried about Frisk. If there's anyone he wants to let go, just let people be happy, leave that power alone... well, it's not him, and it's not Frisk, is it?]

[Oh, so now he knows what Frisk wants better than Frisk does, is that it? Oh, who are they kidding? Of course he does. He's no different from any other monster down here. Endlessly insistent on knowing what's best for you. They all met the same fate, and they've had just about enough of playing along with this game of rock-paper-merry-go-round.]

[The smile that creeps across their face isn't the sort of wide, arcing thing that his best friend was always best at. It might even be unfamiliar in its strange, almost pitying look, accompanied with the slow shake of their head.]

Or maybe...

[There's one eye slitting open now. No red beneath these lids. Just that soft, Frisklike brown.]

I just wanted to see you suffer.

[Frisk knows... a lot of things, really. They know how Flowey responds to this kind of thing. They know what to expect from Asriel Dreemurr, the legendary being made of every SOUL in the underground. They know the sort of answer the Absolute GOD of Hyperdeath would give.

So what about Asriel, the sweet, gentle child who did nothing wrong? The brave martyr who only smiled and let humanity beat him to death? The sort of friend, maybe, that Frisk always wished they'd had? When he's being his best self, his real self, the Asriel he wants Frisk to remember... how does he reply to this?

He's not shocked by the fact their smile is nothing like Chara's. He's not afraid when he sees they have brown eyes, because why would he expect any other colour? No... he's more scared of what they'll think of him if he doesn't rise to this in exactly the right way, ha ha. Pitiful, right?]

...Come on, Frisk. You saved me. You're the kind of friend I wish I'd known back then, when we could really have a chance to be friends.

[Do they really think he won't believe in them, after everything they did for him? For everyone? Maybe this is a test. Maybe they just have to be sure he won't doubt them. There are a lot of Floweys out there, after all, and wasn't he one of them?]

Don't you have anything better to do?

The kind of friend you wish you always had. Right?

[Their gaze slides away from his. Watching, scanning the edges of this liminal space. Because it is so very liminal, much in the same way he is.]

The kind of friend who plays the same Game, over and over again. The kind of friend who stops looking for the perfect ending, and just wants to read every book, and burn every book. The kind of friend who does whatever they want - because they can.

And because they can, they have to.

[They're not possessed of the same horrid flaws as their Real. They can speak at length without stumbling over their speech. Call it a little bit of confidence.]

Come on, Asriel. You've seen what I've done across every timeline.

Can you really claim I'm so different from you?

[...Oh.

This... this isn't how it's supposed to go. It's - it's Chara who has a reason to hold on to this world, to bring everything back to zero and do it all over again, isn't it? If they're really there, then this short span of time... it's all they have. It's the only way they can still play together. Why would Frisk ever want to reset?

Why wouldn't Frisk want to live their life?]

Frisk... I don't like this game anymore.

You don't have a reason to make everyone forget. You've won the "game." You solved everyone's problems perfectly. You broke the Barrier. You set monsters free. You solved the mystery of who I was and why I was doing this. You've... you've seen everything that this playground has to give.

You know why I kept resetting, right? Why I tried to hard to keep the game going. When I was playing... there wasn't any way to win. I couldn't get at the SOULs, no matter what I tried. I couldn't free everyone. I thought if I got Chara back, then that would be winning, but...

Ha ha. I couldn't even do that, could I?

But, Frisk, you... did what I never could. You were what everyone needed. You're different from me, because... you have a future. You have friends and family who love you. You have a way out, back into the sunlight. You've made everyone perfectly happy.

Why would you even want to reset? You've already seen everything, and now you've wrapped all those threads up.

[They don't have a reason, do they? How truly, how deeply, can he claim that he knows them?]

[Why should they be any different from him? Maybe they want to do this all over again! Forever.]

Gosh, Asriel. I don't know.

Why would a flower pretend to be your very best friend, only to rip it all away at the last moment, and reveal his true nature?

[Sure, they got an Ending out of all this. They got the hallowed everything that should be enough for them, but...is it? Is it really enough at all? Is it truly so extraordinary an ending? Everyone's happy. Everyone's smiling. Everyone's excited. Because everyone's free.]

[Or should they just shutter it quietly away, as yet another conclusion to a story they're not quite done with?]

[Why put down the book when you're still so very interested in turning the pages?]

Because... that flower was a blind idiot. He only cared about feeling something again. About having a SOUL at any cost. About trying to keep around something - someone - who was already gone. He didn't realize the cardboard cutouts he was trying to make wouldn't keep him from being empty and alone.

[He couldn't even see that his idea of winning... that it had never been possible for him to win like that. He'd stopped caring, at some point, about the harm his obsession was doing. He knows that. It... hurts, a little bit, for Frisk to confront him with that truth, but... he deserves it, too. He knows he does.]

Playing the same game forever and ever won't make you happy, Frisk.

But... if I really can't change your mind... you'll have to take my memories, too.

I don't think I can do it all over again, knowing what I know now. I don't think I'm ready to go back to being one of the Floweys out there.

How would you know what it is I want, Asriel?

What is it you truly know about me?

[Come on, then. Thrill them with your passionate knowledge about their likes and dislikes, why they may have climbed a mountain like that! Prove that you know so very, very much about them that they're absolutely the friend you wish you always had.]

[Why, you only ever thought to ask their name so very long after the fact, didn't you?]

[What a joke.]

I know you climbed that mountain for a reason.

[But what reason? Was it foolishness? Was it fate? Or was it... because they...

Well, only they know the answer.]

Not the kind of reason someone who hurt you so much can demand to know. I know that you were looking for something. You weren't content to just make it out of there alive and never look back. You weren't content to just stay in the Ruins, with the only way out destroyed beyond all hope of use.

I know you're hurt, like me. I know you're angry, like me. I know you stole sometimes, hit back sometimes, picked the mean option just to see what happened... just like me. I know you're hungry for something new, something exciting, something that... that makes you feel like you're here for a reason.

[Know they unwrapped gift boxes in someone else's room and took what was inside, because they had to know what was in there. Because if they could get at it, it was theirs to take. Know they went back again and again just to tease that last little bit of dialogue out of Sans, just to see what was behind a locked door. Know they bought a key that was found in the garbage, broken into a place that wasn't theirs, read everything they could. Flowey always followed them closely on their journey through the Underground, no matter the route they chose.]

...I don't know if you found what you were looking for, but I hope that you did.

[Rrgghh. He's supposed to be letting them trample effortlessly over his hopes and dreams! He's supposed to be wilting beneath this overwhelming evidence that Frisk doesn't give a damn about him, that they're about to turn right around and RESET and burn the whole playground down, just because they can!]

[This...]

[Bullshit.]

[This why are you being so nice to me bullshit. This is exactly the kind of flaw that all Dreemurrs wear on their sleeves. And it's high time someone taught them all a lesson.]

So you're my reason? My reason to keep going?

[...]

[Don't make them laugh.]

...that's a bit arrogant of you, isn't it?

That's... I'm sorry, Frisk. That wasn't what I meant.

[He looks down. Takes a deep breath.]

It's... monsters are weird, you know? They barely know you, but they all love you so much.

Humans are weird too, maybe. They go so far for people they've only just met. They'll suffer through so much, and still keep going.

The people you SAVED. The people you set free. The whole new world where monsters and humans live together in peace and prosperity. A future... something completely new, free from the tired script we've both exhausted.

Maybe, somewhere in all that... maybe what you hoped for is there.

They love what they think I am.

[They love the idea of the perfect savior, the angel untouched by flaws or envy or greed. The human child who tried harder than anyone - not the anomaly, the little finite god with the power to tear up at the edges of the shingles tiling the world. Maybe not as astutely as some, but...]

[That someone isn't the greatest person anyway, now, are they?]

Just as you do.

Frisk, um... you know that I haven't forgotten all the resets, right?

[Timelines started and abandoned. Do-overs, because figuring out how to spare Mettaton was taking too long, but how could they finish the story with a death marring the run? Because Undyne refused to give them a cooking lesson with dust on their hands. A look of horror, sorrow, anger on their face as a flower mocked them for sparing Toriel but killing Moldsmal, Froggit, Vegetoid. A look of alarm, shame, almost-like-satisfaction when they reloaded and killed her, just to see what he'd say.

Did you start the Flowey fanclub? He asks anyway, even if he knows you didn't. He was watching the entire time.]

I know that I projected a lot onto you. I assumed so hard I didn't even get your name right. But... the one timeline where you got to know me... isn't the only timeline where I got to know you, is it?

Could've fooled me.

[That's the kind of smile that twists at their expression, stretching it ever-so-slightly out of the flat, even shape that Frisk typically wears. The push and pull of muscles that shouldn't ordinarily be flexed - that weren't put into play nearly enough.]

[He really could've fooled them.]

But if you really want to prove it...why don't you tell me what it is you know about me? I'm the friend you wish you always had, aren't I?

[It's an innocent enough question, after all. It's his words, all over again.]

Don't friends know each other?

[It's the second time they've said that. Asked for proof, like caring about someone is a laundry list of points you score, or just a predetermined set of dialogue options you have to answer correctly. What more do they want from him? He's done his best to make sure they can walk away from this run feeling like they've unlocked everything, wrapped things up, done it all as perfectly as possible. Done everything he can to make sure that they come away from this satisfied, ready to life their life.

While, Frisk, you...

...That's not fair. That's not a fair thing to think at all. That's the kind of snappish bitterness you'd expect from Flowey, not from Asriel. Of course they want proof. They've spent a long time not being confident or secure that they have people who like them. They don't really... have... much more to their friendships than that laundry list of points. Ask the Lost Soul for help with a puzzle. Tell the Lost Soul you're going to see her again. Call the Lost Soul on the phone.]

You picked cinnamon over butterscotch. You picked crosswords over junior jumbles. Every single timeline, you flirted with Papyrus, so it was always a date instead of hanging out. You like anime. You refused to say something mean so the kid on the bridge could hate you.

On your first reset, you picked the opposite option whenever you could... um, except for the not-flirting thing. But after that, you went back to those same choices on the other resets. On the very last run, you made really, really certain that you made a snowman happy.

You kept the pie slice all the way through until you got to Asgore. On the last timeline, you didn't need it. ...You set it down at the golden flowers. I think you wanted me to have it.

[Or... or maybe... someone else?]

You looked like you were thinking hard about dropping the Dagger and Locket, too, but you didn't.

Wrong.

[Cinnamon over butterscotch? Crosswords over junior jumbles? Refusing to say something mean? Maybe half the time. But the other half of the time...no. Not really. They're not set in stone, exactly. They're whatever they need to be.]

[And what of the times they didn't bother to * Flirt at all, but strode gamely on, entrenched in the dust of those they killed?]

And here I thought monsters learned a thing or two about projecting.

[But, fine. Let's try something else. Something that falls outside the boundaries of a Game that we can play. Something that isn't just dialogue trees and variables. The Mirror chews on their lip for a moment...before grinning broadly.]

Who was the first person I killed?

[Asriel... sort of gets the feeling that it wasn't possible to get that question right, no matter whether he said crosswords or junior jumbles.

You know what's going on here, don't you? You just wanted to see me SUFFER.

That's - that's another very Flowey thing to think. Asriel doesn't doubt his friends. The kind of friend he always wished he had... they comfort him. They forgive him. They wouldn't try to hurt him or make him feel bad on purpose.

He's positive, in fact, that this question isn't also one where he's wrong no matter what he says. They just need better proof, that's all. More accurate reassurance. Maybe he... forgot.

Maybe... Chara went back, did it all again. Maybe Chara took his memories of how it really went. They both know he couldn't play along with another Reset after being through all that. Not unless he couldn't remember being Asriel again. Is it any wonder that Frisk would get upset that he's getting it all wrong, then?

He can get this one right, at least. He's sure he can.]

...The dummy that Mom told you to practice conversation on? Unless, um, you mean... not a ghost. Then, uh... a Froggit?

Nope.

[They're still grinning, now with a faint, almost conspiratorial air. And they saunter just a little bit closer - if he'll allow him, they'll even toss an arm over his shoulders. It's all right, Asriel; they're not armed.]

[At the moment.]

I'll give you a hint.

[Ready for this mind-blower, Asriel?]

...it wasn't Underground.

What? But... no, that's not possible.

[It can't be. Is he shocked they've killed? How can he be, after all those resets full of death and dust, right? How can he be, when he's killed them? Over, and over, and over again.

But... they went back and made everything right. They stopped playing this game, took responsibility for it, made amends by fixing all of it. And the only way that was ever possible... the only way everyone would ever rally behind the human...

That only happened when their hands were totally clean. Right?]

You were LV1 when we met. 0 EXP. If you'd killed before the resets started, you'd have EXP. Sans would know. I'd know!

Wouldn't we?

[Did they... was this, too, their world's short-sighted selfishness? It only counts when it's monster lives. Nobody cares how many times a human gets killed. Nobody bothers to look at the body sprawled in the golden flowers. Nobody questions who six gleaming SOULs used to be, if they can hear, if they're bored in those little glass jars under the floor...

Did they miss something important, when they all forgot to ask the human who they were?]

I couldn't SAVE before I fell, either. Funny how things change once you enter the Underground, right?

[It brings you all back to zero.]

[Or they could be lying. Hard to say, isn't it? Maybe they didn't go all the way. But the way they left him groaning in the dirt - he certainly would remember them for years to come, of that they're sure.]

[So, Frisk.]

[Why'd you climb the mountain?]

Why should Chara be the only one to hate humanity?

[...He never let them answer his question. He just... just gossiped over those golden flowers. Chara hated humanity, you know! Ha ha! Never said why, but their reason for climbing the mountain wasn't happy. But Frisk, you know, you're nothing alike! Don't know why I ever mixed you up!! Do you feel better about everything you went through yet?

...He starts grabbing at his sweater, twisting the fabric in his paws. Poking his claws through the tiny little gaps in the weave.]

Frisk. Stop.

I told you Chara hated humanity. I told you they... they weren't exactly great.

But I also told you I care about them more than anyone else.

I've done bad things, too. Mom's hurt people. Dad's hurt people. That doesn't mean that I'm not still going to love them as long as I still CAN love.

If you're trying to make me hate you... you can't.

Edited 2017-09-23 04:03 (UTC)

Who says I'm trying to make anyone hate anything? I'm just stating the facts, Asriel.

[He's trying so hard to make things recoverable, salvageable, scrap them together into one happy, tearful ending that he can bind away in a neat little bow! No happy endings for kids like them, though, are there? Maybe once they would have played that promised game of catch, drunk that promised cup of tea, read that promised book.]

[But that child who first fell isn't that child anymore.]

If you want us to be friends, I think it's only fair that we know a little bit more about each other. And you... [A little laugh, a companionable if too-pointy elbow to the ribs, assuming he has any - how do monsters work, anyway?] Well, I already know all about you! Too much, in fact!

[Ha ha, yeah. Way too much. And whose fault is that, right? Who kept dumping all his baggage onto a total stranger? Who was so clingy and desperate that he put someone he barely knew through all that?

It's... really only fair if Frisk resents that, honestly.]

Sorry, Frisk. I'm sorry. I just... um... I just wanted you to know that I understand nobody can be the greatest thing in the entire world. Sometimes, you do things that don't turn out so great. The best you can do is just... don't kill, and don't be killed, right?

[Did he bungle getting that across? He might have bungled it. He's not as good with words as Chara always was.]

Sorry. I'll listen. I can't wait to get to know you more.

Really? That's not what it sounded like at all. You know, when I SAVED your SOUL with a memory that...

[...hm.]

[They halt on the spot, tapping at their chin with the tip of one finger in exaggerated contemplation.]

Actually, come to think of it...where did that memory come from? I certainly don't remember it...why, I don't think I was even alive at the time!

You seemed pretty dead-set on singing my praises then, didn't you?

two years of love, two years of LOVE

you've heard of elf on a shelf now get ready for: goat is a scrote

now get ready for ass from a looking glass

you mOONED the QUEEN you absolute piss

yeah good luck painting these roses red FUCKO

i can paint them GRAY can't i

what are ya a filthy homestuck

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cw manipulative shit hghghgh I HATE THEM I'M SORRY

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